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Wednesday, April 10, 2013

A Wife's Story

In A Wifes Story written by Bharati Mukherjee, the narrator is an Indian muliebrity named Panna who has left India to get a Ph. D. in exceptional education in Manhattan. The story illustrates the relationship mingled with Panna and her match-made save who has devolve to visit her in Manhattan. Panna is drifting away from her pre shell out because of the cultural changes she is going by means of. She has changed and he has non, thus the gap between them widens. My own marriage is non through match-making, and yet it has come to an end due to all kinds of exits that cannot be reconciled.

As conserve and married woman, Panna does check him to a certain extent. Just by listening to his interpretive program all over the phone she can already figure push through how he looks while he is telling her near the onslaught at his workplace. She says, I know how my economises shopping centres look this minute, how the eye rim sag and the yellow corneas shine and bulge with disturb (470). She as well knows that he allow be charming: tomorrow hell come out of it. Soon hell be eating again. Hell relief ilk a baby (470). This is a kind of business leader and understanding you develop with your spouse after living in concert for some time. I am able to know the wittiness of my spouse comely by talking to him on the phone. I can easily predict his response and reaction too. For example, there be a few lecturers in our college that he hates because they serve as the panels for his final design thesis which he fails. til now after many years, he would be so loaded and I know the exact bad words he would swear if someone mentions their names in front of him.

Panna also knows that her husband likes her to dress up in traditional Indian costume, so she deliberately changes out of her cotton puff and shirts and puts on a sari when she goes to the airport to meet him. She even puts on a whole set of jewelry: the marriage necklace, fortunate drop earrings and heavy gold bangles; accessories she does not wear very much in Manhattan due to safety reason, as cl primeval say in the sentence, In this borough of vice and greed, who knows when, or whom, desire will overwhelm (470). I know my husbands preference too. He does not like me wearing long skirts and long-sleeved shirts because he thinks a woman looks old in that kind of attire. He also does not like me wearing high heels because I would be taller than him if I do so.

The relationship between Panna and her husband is traditional and male-dominant. She allay doesnt call her husband by his first name (470) and he has never entered the kitchen of [their] Ahmadabad house (472). On top of that, he gets suspicious whenever other men talk to or show saki in her. He is the one who send mangles Panna to buy the tickets of their sightseeing racing circuit because he thinks the Americans dont understand his accent, and yet he blames her for attracting those men because she wears pants instead of sari. He says to her, I told you not to wear pants. He thinks you are Puerto Rican. He thinks he can treat you with slight (472). In feature, he is so uncomfortable with the attention his wife is getting from men that he privations her to go back to India with him, ignoring the fact that she has not completed her study. He says, Ive come to take you back. I project seen how men continue you (474). When Panna tells him she cannot go back with him, he picks up their food trays and throws them into the garbage, expressing his displeasure and demonstrating his male chauvinistic behavior. In my case, I call my husband by his first name, just not his nickname - only some of his female friends are allowed to call him by that name. He does some housework, but he is still a chauvinist. He demands me to be getly obedient. He decides we should live in Malaysia to be near his parents even though both of us work in Singapore, thus we pass on six hours commuting on the road, crossing the border between the two countries each single day, for nine long years. It is in reality tiring and I think we can make go use of our time. entirely whenever I bring up this issue, he would simply ignore my point of view.

It is of runty wonder that Panna finds herself drifting away from her husband. While he remains the traditional Indian husband, she has changed much. In my case, my husband and I become to a greater extent aloof as our deviance become more prominent over the years.

First of all, Panna has started to assimilate into the American culture. She hugs Imre, a male friend, on the street, and they laissez passer arm in arm to the bus stop. She is sure that her husband would never dance or hug a woman on Broadway (467) because he [has] a well-developed sense of whats silly (467). petting a friend of the opposite sex, a normal affectionate gesture in America is considered silly by an Indian! In Pannas case, she clearly thinks of it as a social gesture now, just like the Americans. Even her vocabulary is so American now. She uses the word trucks (470) instead of lorries (470); and when her husband says wardrobe (471), she knows that is what the Americans call apparel bag (471). What I experience is not the cultural difference due to assimilation into another culture. Rather, it is the difference that exists since the beginning. My husband goes through the public school system in Malaysia and does not gain vigor Chinese. On the other hand, I attend Chinese main(a) school and hold on to my Chinese culture and value. He scorns and calls me old-fashioned and conservative, saying that it is common for his girlfriend to send intimate electronic messages like miss you very much, my unspoilt to him and that it is absolutely all right for them to send erotic online images to each other. I feel he has carried the word liberality a little too far.

Secondly, Panna has gained depiction to a lot of refreshed things after living in Manhattan. Things that amaze and excite her husband, like the giant size of the Perdue hens, pizzas, burgers, Mcnuggets, hair rinses and high-protein diet powders, to her, are something already taken for granted (471). When they go shopping, she is startled to see that so many things delight him. She feels that she is just getting to know him (471) because the husband she regards as prudent (472) is [r]ecklessly...sign[ing] away travelers checks (472). In my case, my husband lives on a very tight budget during his student age and only begins to get the taste of a lot of fine things in bread and butter, like going for spend, after he starts working. To me, vacation is a time to unwind and relax. I dont mind outgo a lazy afternoon just sitting at a sidewalk café and watching the world go by. To him, we have to make the most out of each trip.

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Our holiday in concert becomes a tiring experience for me because he wants to visit every place, to see everything, as everything fascinates him; thus we have to leave the hotel early in the morning and only return late at night.

After coming to Manhattan, Pannas ability to appreciate art has been brought up to a new level by her friend, Imre. She thinks of him as a congenital avant-gardist (471) who always tells [her] what to see, what to read (471). Panna enjoys this. She can walk and talk with Imre from capital of South Carolina to Chelsea without feeling tired at all (474). Imre invites Panna and her husband to watch Numero Deux directed by Godard. Obviously Pannas husband is a total alien in this. Like an idiot he asks, Is it a musical? (471) which makes Imre winks sympathetically, probably feeling pathetic at how little he knows slightly art. After the film, Pannas husband calculates in rupees the specie they have wasted on Godard (471), which clearly indicates that that film is not his cup of tea at all. I have standardised experience as well. My husband and I have clear taste in the appreciation of arts. He enjoys Hollywood blockbusters particularly those action-packed movies, songs by Spice Girls and Britney Spears but shows no interest in any local theatre groups performance or true music concert - which I enjoy. He is also more interested in visiting Euro-Disney than Musee dOrsay when we are in genus Paris during our honeymoon.

Pannas lack of affection toward her husband is reflected when she notices the changes in her husband the split second she sees him but makes no comments about it. He has lost weight, and changed his glasses. The arm, stir in a cheery wave, is bony, frail, almost opalescent (470), she observes. under(a) normal circumstances, it should be very natural for her to say something about the changes, after not seeing her husband for some time. But she says nothing, which makes the husband sulky and in conclusion voices his displeasure, Youve said nothing about my new glasses (471). This has happened to me before. When we both resent each other, we just try to reduce our conversation to the minimum, avoiding interaction because it is no long-lasting a pleasure talking to each other.

Besides, Panna seems rather pesky and embarassed by some of her husband behavior. He [carries] a store of red peppers in his pocket (471) as he thinks the American palate is bland and he wants her to go for guided sightseeing tour which she is too proud to admit (473) to Charity or Imre. I feel embarrassed as well, when my husband shows off the complimentary box of facial tissue, coffee sachets and slippers he takes from the hotel live or the cutlery set and blanket he collects from the planer as souvenirs.

A Wifes Story touches my heart as I can really empathy with Panna and understand how she feels in her relationship with her husband. Hers is a marriage through match-making. In my case, I choose my life partner. Nonetheless, we both drift away from our husband. Our affection and love fades. Pannas exposure to a new culture transforms her, which changes her feelings toward her husband. For me, the various unresolved booking between my husband and I accumulating over the years finally result in our split. We unite through our marriage. But when the difference is too great to be reconciled, there seems to be no better choice than to go on our separate ways.

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